What does this Sacred Voyage gave you ?
The Mother… she is so smart, gave me knowledge, everything made sense.. I learned to surrender, to trust, to ask…It felt so good to love myself, to be gentle, tender. To connect with my heart. I met my feminine part, usually forgotten. I connected with my sexuality and it didn’t felt wrong anymore. I felt my body alive. I met myself with bad and goods. And the “bad” wasn’t mine… i felt sadness and grief and panic and pain, they had place to manifest and to come out to be seen and then to go and to let me feel the peace… I still do not remember a lot of things, but i have this deep feeling that something important had place and that something shifted in me. I learned how to breathe.. And a few days after, i am calm and i have clarity and i’m more confident. I hope all will stay with me and not to loose myself again because it is so nice.
How did you like the setting (space / atmosphere etc.) ?:
The neighbourhood is so peaceful and the walking in nature around the house was really good. The house is nice, but the room is magic. Full of love. Like you step in other dimension. Wherever you look you see something interesting and beautiful. In short time i felt like home. Or better than home actually:) The music and the food were amazing and inspired me. I loved the holding hands and praying before eating. I loved the silent moments, they were comfortable even when they were long.
How did you experience the Holotropic Breathwork ?
The breathwork was good to connect with the intention to release and to heal, to relax, and to get used with the space and everything.
How did you experience the Ayahuasca journey 1st day? :
I didn’t know what to expect and i was scared,curious, but ok because of the safe environment i felt. When i vomited i was scared, but somehow deep inside i knew that it is very good for me. I loved the connection with Judith. I didn’t felt sorry for her when she started crying. I knew she’s letting go so i started breathing with her without thinking. Amazing. I looked my mother, father and boyfriend photos, but I stopped more at mother’s and her pain and i accepted her. I appreciated Avi’s help, but i wasn’t 100% comfortable with all the love he had for me. There were moments i was asking why i do not receive this? I felt very good after the journey.
How did you experience the Ayahuasca journey 2de day? :
It was harder, and more painfull, but i had the best moments also. It was intense. The main moment for the entire retreat was the panic i felt from “nowhere” and the feeling that is something big there and i can’t handle it alone. The mother told me to go to Avi, but i realised that i’m to dizzy to move so i looked at him and i couldn’t see clearly the face. So i looked at him again and moved my head like i need help and i was so happy that he understood and he came and helped me so much… i had 100% trust and i opened myself and everything came out (i think and i hope the father energy); at the end when Avi told me that it’s gone i couldn’t believe. I looked at him and saw the masculine, the father figure, like it was the first time i accepted unconditional love and affection from the father. It also felt like a reborn.Then i felt bliss, the pure joy and happiness, energy, like i was dancing so good with my whole being and the magic i saw in Judith… She was so delicate, fragile sooo beautiful and i holded her hand like is so natural and that i’m so glad that she is there to share. And i was caressing her like i knew her all my life and i love her and everything is so right. I felt tired after that and weak in the body, but at peace.
How did you find the guidance van Avi:
In the second journey, after he helped me with that powerful moment, i felt i need to apologize like i didn’t trust him enough before and that i was skeptical and underestimated him. I felt like he is so modest and he actually has such a wonderful, big power to guide and to be there and to help. I cried when i left like i could not believe that the retreat was over. It raised up my standards for connections with people. Because i realised how this honest, deep connections can happen in such short time when we put down the masks. I felt like i can talk about everything with him. I’m so thankful for choosing Avi for my first ayahuasca experience. And for Judith also.
Space – if you want – to share a piece of your travel experience with us:
I felt how the Mother scan your body and how she gives you what you need, how much you need. So respectful. I learned to focus the second day because in the first one my mind was chaotic. I talked with her and we had a funny dialogue sometimes. It is so new and important to me to communicate with a spirit. I remember i realised how interesting it was that i could not fall asleep even if i wanted sometimes when it was hard, to run. I remember that i felt so lucky to see the truth and i still feel this way because is not easy thing to do, but is so special and i’m proud of myself.