It wasn’t my first Ayahuasca experience.
Only this time, it was supposed to be an important one.
This one was supposed to be individual.
Mother Ayahuasca has shown to me many lessons first time, too: the lesson of letting things flow and never force anything, because otherwise it won’t happen.
First time i was so lost and tried to find a fast solution for all my problems, I sacrificed my money and even almost my status of serious employee in my new job just so that I can go in the retreat that was taking place in Hamburg.I got there eventually, but my expectations were fearful and I knew I won’t heal because of this.
They told me afterwards that having no experience on Ayahuasca it’s still an experience and something that you have to learn from it.
And I did! My mindset wasn’t the correct mindset.I promised myself that I will do it again and subconsciously i set the intent for it.
Not long ago all the circumstances in my life brought me again to a dark place from where I needed answers and healing.
All the documentaries I watched and all the information I gathered during time, about this medicinal plant that heals people that have cancer even,has given me the faith that it will help me bring myself back to surface.
📷And with the best sincronicity, Universe provided me money to have this Sacred Voyage through my tax refund.HEHE!
It was like something was calling me to heal my soul after the separation from my loved one also.I needed to get rid of my blockages that kept me in the prison of the mind, to become more connected with the Source of everything , to love myself more, and even to understand what loving myself more means…
So I decided to have an individual experience, as last time, 20 people all together in the ceremony was quite a lot for me to cope with.
I was very lucky to find Sacred Voyage from Holland :
They recommended me one of the Shamans that is living close to Rotterdam, which was perfectly situated from London, the place where I live: 1 hour by plane and very easy to reach.
Before going there I spoke with the beloved Avi through e-mails. He advised me to fast with soups or/and juices for at least 3 days in advance to clean my system/body so that mother Ayahuasca can do her job more properly in my body.
Also, most of the medications cannot be combined with Ayahuasca.
And as a preparation he advised me to read Lars e-book The Sacred Voyage, a very beautiful book that was for free.You are very welcome to also get the magic of it by clicking here:
So exciting! I decided to have 2 days of spiritual journey so that I can get the best I can from this experience.
Finally, when I landed, Avi waited for me at the airport, greeted me with hot tea in his car as a welcome.What followed was like a gift from the Universe.
Magic again! When I entered his House I was surprised by such a spiritual beautiful place.His living room was filled with candles, kristals, scents, statues of budha, indians, clowns, canvas pictures with Twin Flames, Flower of life, Mother Ayahuasca, and so many more objects.
The ideal place to feel safe for the ceremony that was supposed to start second day at 9 am.
Before going to sleep we spoke about what answers i want to receive from the spiritual plant, why i am there and what are my sorrows.
I only felt love from this gentle man, love of a father , pure love from a pure human being who’s only goal in life is to help others.
This time i was very positive regarding all of this, especially because Avi asked me to bring white clothes and pictures with me when i was a child, my parents, and any object of important meaning for me.They were meant to bring to surface buried emotions, because while we grow up we forget where we come from and how unconditional our love should be for everything.
📷As the day started, I went downstairs in the living room, feeling so pure in my new White clothes bought especially for the ceremony.
I have to say that i never wear white, because i have a false conception about this colour not matching me.But this belief is now changed as I felt so good wearing it, eventually.
The room was dimly lited by the candles and very warm. The red mattress was in the middle, couple of blankets, as I understood that after drinking I might be cold, the smell of the scents, the specific type of Ayahuascan music was singing, everything was prepared.
I was nervous and excited in the same time.
Avi took my hands, we closed our eyes and we connected to the energy of the plant so that we can open the ceremony.
After this,he gave me the glass which he showed me to bring it to my heart , earth, and above the head, saying a prayer and thanking to HER for beeing here, on this planet, to show us the way to connect more deeply with the other realms, for helping us to grow and understand MORE which is beyond this material world.
📷I than drunk.I will be honest.The taste is not so great, but it is worth it, i can say.
I than sat in yoga pose listening to a meditation music that was supposed to open my whole chakra system, starting from the ground to the top.
While I got to the heart chakra, I already started to feel dizzy and I layed down and put the eye patch on my face so that the light won’t disturb me.
A lot of patterns started to be shown to me in a continuos movement, energy , colours, so magical.
When the music for the crown chakra started, I felt that my consciousness moved to another dimension and I could’t feel my body anymore.
I was part of everything.
I was One with everything.
I was …and I AM.
This is what the “ I AM” means.
I have read in the past many spiritual books until i got to this experience. But i couldn’t relate to this before,because i didnt know how to feel it.
Now in this 3rd dimension we only have the impression that we are separated one from another.I say only the impression, because even though we are physically appart one from another the energy of connection ties us so deeply, it feeds us, or it hungers us if we forget to LOVE and forgive.
Phisical pain followed.I felt the plant working on all my bodies together: energetic ,mental, spiritual,phisical.
A powerful and higher energy was sorounding my body and taking away what was not needed anymore.
I started to feel emotional pain also.A lot of sorrow conquered my soul.
It felt like it didn’t end.
It felt like the time stopped and it was only pain: memories ,financial issues, hurtful relationships, family.
The shaman touched my belly and pushed the energy up to my throat. I was coughing and crying.
The pain became relief.
📷I drunk 3 glasses during the first ceremony.
He told me that first glass is to prepare the stomach for the medicine.
While the sorrow passed i relaxed deep into the warmth of the blankets and something very weird happened.
It was like i was send back in time as a baby child.
Even my body felt very small and immobilized .
I was in my old baby cot, in my old room, feeling the presence of my mom and my dad that were celebrating my entering in this life.
And what a glorious time it was!
I felt so pure and happy as I knew that everything is taking care for me and i need nothing to worry but to laugh and to have fun and be joyfull.
And i started laughing.Everything was so funny.I could not stop laughing.Such a vivid remembrance of my childhood mindset.Now all i have to do is channel it !
To remember that sacred knowledge which i brough with me from Heavens.
That everything is taking care for me.I just have to sit, relax and have fun.
And i felt so joyfull like the children i often admire for their happyness.
I felt so much connection with the child inside me like i never felt.
I felt respect and appreciation for the confidence and awareness I was caring back than.
And than i started to grow and I felt like a little miss who is so charming and doesn’t need any approval because all she has is her inner guidance and it’s enough.
She had the whole world at her feet, she remind me how i used to feel.
Than i became my mom and i felt her unconditional love for me, her sorrows and the pain she carried for generations.
I than felt than i can heal myself and in the moment I will heal, all the other people in my life will heal : my family, my friends, my coworkers, people from my country that i left behind and didn’t visit since some time now.
My heart opened and i felt so empowered to spread a pink colour light of LOVE through entire planet.
Someone told me subconsciously: You are important!
I am important!
The realisation that i have a purpose.
The awareness that, even though i might be considered inadaquate for most of the people in my life, i am here for them.
I am different so that i struggle in the dark and become a LIGHTWORKER.There is nothing wrong with me , to the contrary, I am a Godess inside.
And i have been acknowledged that everything goest by the Plan.
That everything was prepared exactly as it should be: my addictions, my movement to London for self discovery, the people i met, my love relationships, working in the place named Sunborn which for me always ment Born from the Sun.
Everything was connected.
I brought myself here.
Such a beautiful experience of Life.
So thankful for the privilege of being alive.
So thankful for what it was shown to me.
And than the idea came to me.
What if i show to the people what are the true powers of this plant ?
📷And here I am, speaking about my experience to you, The One that you are here especially because you heard the calling and you might feel ready to open your heart and remember who you really are and why you are here on this planet.
I felt privileged to have had the opportunity to understand so many things and to get so much download of information from 2 spiritual journeys in 2 days.
I came back so excited to start my new life.
Avi told me not to eat pineapples or bananas still for another day because they provoke headaches and Ayahuasca is still working in my body, and will continue to work for some time.
He also told me that i can see the effects of it even in a month from now because the change just starts to happen.
For the ones of you that are familiar with the dimensional levels witch correspond to each sacral chakra, i understood that no psychological treatment could offer me what Ayahuasca does, because it fixes blockages on a dimensional level.
That’s so cool,isn’t it ?:D
Here are some links providing you the information that you need for a further journey:
LOVE & Peace xoxoxoxo
Yours truly ,
Meri
February 5, 2016
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ICU Ayahuasca 